Anticipaaaaaaaation...

So maybe it's not only the adventure itself but the preparation for it and the anticipation of how challenging it may actually be that's part of the learning process?  Bree and I are sitting here about to leave on a four day trip where we stay in nomadic family gers and ride horses for two of the days - to white lake and a volcano. The horseback riding is FREAKING me out. During our orientation we got instruction on how to best place our feet in the stirrups so if we need to jump off a galloping horse we can!  Holy crap. I am pretty terrified of these half-size wild horses to begin with. A friend who did the peace corps here told us a story of a friend who was off on a horseback riding adventure and his horse decided it was time to go home so he took off lightening fast in the other direction and the poor guy got dragged for a while with his foot in the stirrup. I definitely don't want that to happen to me - so maybe it's actually good that I visualize leaping off of the crazed galloping horse...

There's a lot to be apprehensive of. There are more rules than you can shake a stick at when it comes to appropriate family Ger behavior. The eldest enter first. Don't point your feet north when you are sitting in the Ger. Receive everything with your right hand. Don't shake hands with your sleeves rolled up. Don't turn your back on the altar. Ever. And the list goes on. Of course for me not eating dairy makes it more complex because you have to try everything they give you and unless it's alcohol you should eat it all. Let's hope the lactaid works!

What happens if I screw up a rule and offend the family?  What if I fall off the horse?  What if the food makes me sick? What if we can't communicate at all? And the list goes on. So what I think is that the anticipation and anxiety is part of the learning experience. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. It's okay to be scared but best to not let the fear affect either the experience itself or my ability to enjoy the journey. It's about calmly reminding myself that this entire experience is about learning, not just the parts I have identified as difficult or scary. And with that, I'm really looking forward to the challenges to come and also trying to be good to myself in the process. I may tend to be a wee bit hard on myself so now is the perfect time to let that go and enjoy the imperfections - or at least tolerate them!