I was just reading my friends blog, when I noticed I was no longer in the list of blogs she likes. Sigh. Could it be that I haven't written in 3 months? Nah. Okay, maybe. Writing about motivation and desire and the battle between. Tonight was my weekly track workout with my cross country ski team - at least those of us who live in the city. Every Tuesday I try to think of every possible reason to not go. None of them are ever enough to keep me from going, but I really don't want to go after a long stressful day at work. All I really want to do is go home and sit on my couch - or go climbing. It's the same with the trainer I see on Mondays - battle. I told him on Monday that I almost call him every Monday morning to cancel (I never have canceled thus far). He said nearly everyone he works out with feels the same way, and it made me feel a lot better. It's just so strange that the high you feel afterwards and the good, positive, confident post-workout self does not eclipse the desire to bail on workouts.
I am leaving tomorrow for ski camp, and I am petrified. Two reasons really: 1. I was sick last week with a sinus infection and feel my cardio has suffered and 2. I haven't yet skied this season. Oh - and 3. it has been 0 degrees in the morning, "warming" to a balmy 18 degree high. Yikes. That's how it was when we were in Alaska in March, and it was painful. PAINFUL. I'm really looking forward to being taught by their professional skiers, and of course I'm hoping that I'm not the worst one there. Chris assures me there will be beginners, but I can't help but be worried about that.
The nice thing about the track workout this evening was that I was able to do a lot more than last year, and it felt really good seeing my progress. Also feeling confident and not dreading any of the parts of the workout. I see the people who intentionally come late to miss the jogging warm-up (only 3/4 of a mile usually). I see the people who do everything they can to avoid fully committing to the real cardio section. I used to be one of those people! I completely understand jogging anxiety. It's so nice to actually want to do the hard parts of the workout. It took me 35 years to get there! Of course it doesn't stop me from not wanting to go at all - but at least once I'm there I'm in it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Cheeks, i love reading your blog. Your writing absolutely invokes the way you speak, even your voice pithc and tone. Such a pleasure.
And i know what you mean about motivation. A good friend told me that the most difficult part of exercising is just getting your ass out the door. Once you're on your way to the class or session, you're trapped into taking care of yourself. But getting out the door, off the couch, away from the fridge is a challenge. I go through that 2-3x's a week about yoga.
Post a Comment